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TIME magazine: Dumbledore wasn't gay enough

Oh won't somebody just make the idiots stop publishing proof of their idiocy...

The gist of the article is that JKR shouldn't have bothered making the pronouncement about D being gay because he never acted gay. He never, like, mentioned to Harry, in the midst of imparting wisdom, "by the way, Harry, I'm gay". We never got to find out about any steamy gay interludes in the headmaster's office. And he died! And when gay characters die that means that they are "pay[ing] for their existence with death". And none of the minor characters was explicitly mentioned as gay which is, like, soooo unfair.

W. T. F.

You know, as far as my concern in this whole matter goes, Dumbledore never told Harry that he was straight, either. Why not? Because I'm imagining in between all the battling evil and earth-shattering revelations, the poor old guy didn't feel it necessary to confide in a student who he liked to have sex with.

Aaarrrrgggghhhh the stupid it hurts us precious.
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And if he had taken the time to tell Harry about his sexuality, can you imagine the furor? Male teacher tells young, impressionable student in his care that he's gay! Oh noes! Pedophile!

And, yeah. So if his gayness explains Dumbledore's death, what about the bazillion other characters who got killed in the course of the books?

Wait--Sirius was the first major character to get offed, right? And all of fandom know he and Remus Lupin are secretly gay lovers, or were. And Lupin died, too! Along with his wife, who was being punished for being a beard, obviously. And Fred and George? Twincest, so at least one of them had to go. OMG! They're right! Clearly, the Dark Lord was sending out teams to kill people based on their sexuality! That whole "anti-muggle" thing was just a blind for their true hatred of homosexuals!
And if he had taken the time to tell Harry about his sexuality, can you imagine the furor? Male teacher tells young, impressionable student in his care that he's gay! Oh noes! Pedophile!

Well yeah. Can you imagine him taking Hermione aside and telling her he's straight? I'd have the same reaction *g*

Clearly, the Dark Lord was sending out teams to kill people based on their sexuality! That whole "anti-muggle" thing was just a blind for their true hatred of homosexuals!

BWAHAHAHAHA