Now basically, if you listen to the Goracle, carbon dioxide from humans is causing the Earth to warm which is going to melt the ice caps and drown hwcarnage and distant_cord. However, you - yes you! - can do something about it by buying hybrid cars and ask yourself "do I really need to take this trip" before you go somewhere, or take the train instead of flying.
But it's not just about reducing your carbon emissions. After all, there's no room for profit there. You can also purchase carbon offsets. Basically, if you can't help your carbon emissions, you simply pay a company to plant trees or put up windmills or crap like that, and - voila! Your conscious is clear!
According to CarbonFund.org, the average person puts out about 24 tons of C02 a year. And, lucky us, you can buy carbon offsets from them for $5.50 a ton! Therefore, for only $132 a year, you can stand up alongside environmental paragons like Al Gore and say -- I have no carbon footprint!
What a complete scam.
Cause see, folks like Gore don't practice what they preach. Gore flies all over the place to "spread his message" (and here I thought there was this thing thing called the world wide web and teleconferencing?) in a private jet, for example, rather than taking the train - or even a commercial flight. His carbon footprint is more like a crater. But does it faze him? Nah, no way. Because he's wealthy - he can just buy carbon offsets!
Here's Gore's future, IMO: your activities (such as miles traveled in car or airplane, energy used in your home) is reported or monitored, and you are taxed or fined; ostensibly, that money will be put towards carbon offsets so companies like CarbonFund.org can plant trees and make wind farms and turn cow poop into fresh water.
If you're wealthy, you can afford the fine, so you can keep on doing whatever the hell you want. The only people it will really effect? The people who don't fly on private jets, the people who don't own mansions, the people who don't have a carbon crater.
Including people like Al's sycophants - actors and other Hollywood bigshots - who kiss his royal hand and then turn around, fly all over the place, build sets, tear down sets... well, like even Variety admits, "a recent Los Angeles study found that the entertainment business was the second largest polluter in the city behind the petroleum industry. From the generators that provide power on sets, to the energy used in studio office buildings, to the airplane flights to move a production around -- nearly every action has a carbon consequence."
But it's okay, because they can just buy carbon offsets!
Enjoy your Oscar, Al. You definitely deserve it.