"I'm Tim Russert, and this is Meet the Press."
"You're named after a potato!" Bush exclaimed.
"Uh, not actually... anyway, our guest today is President Bush here to explain his cartoon about Mohammed."
"I don't see why there is outrage," Bush stated. "If you look at the life of Mohammed, I think it's accurate to say that, if Godzilla attacked a city, Mohammed would get in a F-16 and fight the monster."
"But, President Bush," Russert said, "that isn't the issue so much as that many Muslims find any depiction of Mohammed to be disrespectful of their religion."
"Well, I can't keep track of everyone's crazy beliefs! I mean, just look at the leftards on the internet; if I tried to keep track of all the crazy things they believe, I'd end up as crazy as they are." Bush then looked straight into the camera. "Still, to all the non-violent Muslims who were offended by this cartoon, I'd just like to say... in your face! I made fun of your prophet! And what are you going to do about it? Nothing! That's what! Go write some letter to the editor and see if I care!
"But, to the violent Muslims out there who want to kill me for my cartoon, I offer my deepest apologies. It was a total accident; my pen slipped, and suddenly there was a drawing of Mohammed. It happens sometimes. I hope you'll forgive me and not burn down the White House."
"In response," Russert said, "we have a Muslim extremist - coincidentally named Mohammed - to give us his views. Mohammed?"
The Muslim extremist fired an AK-47 in the air. "Kill Bush! Kill infidels!"
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