Although we wouldn't be caught dead at a Support-Our-Troops rally or a Veterans' Day Parade, progressives across the nation will gather in their communities tonight to honor those we've spent the last 40 years dishonoring: the baby-killing, corpse-burning, genital-mocking, Quran-mishandling, innocent-civilian-torturing, wedgie-giving, uneducated, brainwashed fascist morons who were tricked into the service by unscrupulous recruiters. It's not a celebration, but a time to collectively mourn the loss of people we care enough about to actually pretend like we give damn. And while our maudlin displays of national self-loathing may ultimately embolden the enemy and bring us closer to the Big Three-Oh-Oh-Oh, each candle lit will cleanse us of any misguided guilt we share for constantly kicking our uniformed men and women in the metaphorical nards.
We owe the troops that much.
Maybe it'll be called "Toxic Little Queen."
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