WASHINGTON, DC --- George Bush announced that the search for Bin Laden was being put on hold while Special Forces were being brought back stateside to search for Louisiana Governor Kathleen Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin. Blanco and Nagin have been in hiding since Hurricane Katrina hit, and Bush is determined to locate them.
"We didn't expect these people to be as solid as Giuliani and Pataki were after 9/11, but they have gone into hiding without having a clue how to handle a disaster," said Bush. "I've got people doing their job for them, since they were unable to function after the hurricane and are hiding in a cave somewhere. We'll find them though. Dead or alive. We'll smoke them out of their holes. Get em running. And bring them to justice. Our elite Special Forces are checking every spider hole in Louisiana, and I have confidence these two will be found and brought to pay for their inactions."
In a video broadcast by Al Jazeera, Blanco and Nagin appear surrounded by their aides to address the world. Both claim in the video that they were under the impression that their elected positions were only for financial gain, use of power, and general hob-knobbing. Dealing with a disaster was not in the job description and should be entirely up to the federal government.