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Rob Lowe stars in "Like Mike"

Taken *so* without permission from the Contra Costa Times...


Lowe and behold: Rob's character needs a big ax
Written by Tony Hicks

**Legal disclaimer: This column is in no way meant to encourage anyone to harm, or even try harming, Rob Lowe.

Lowe, though occasionally an irritating little wuss, is a human being just like the rest of us, and thus deserves some kind of life. We only think the fictional Sam Seaborn should be whacked, as quickly and forcefully as somebody making the wrong move on Tony Soprano's daughter.

Just remember that Rob Lowe is NOT Sam Seaborn, no matter how much he'll wish he is by this time next year.**

Rob Lowe is stomping out of the building because NBC won't raise his allowance. The network now faces an important decision: how to properly toss the sniveling little punk.

The consensus around here is that NBC needs to be definitive. Don't give Lowe's overly chatty Sam Seaborn character a chance to come back. Ever. Don't let the door hit him on the way out. Maybe he needs to leave with his rear end blazing.

Maybe make him wear that dangly earring from "St. Elmo's Fire" in his last episode.

Lowe's had a nice gig the past three years on "The West Wing," a show that manages to dominate ratings while not insulting viewers' intelligence. Because Lowe, along with Martin Sheen, was the biggest name in the cast when the show started three years ago, he and Sheen both made $75,000 per episode -- more than anyone else. Now that Sheen's character has taken center stage, his pay goes way up to $300,000 for next season.

Lowe, clearly forgetting his classic and all-too-recent role in the TV movie "Atomic Train," doesn't like it.

Here's a thought: NBC can give Lowe top billing in its new reality series "Unemployed," in which cameras follow Lowe around as he begs for jobs.



*cough*FH*cough*
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