This just cracked me up; I had to post it in its entirity. Didn't write it, though. Frank J. did. He rocks.
Amnesty International, apparently not finding any innocent people being oppressed worth complaining about, called the terrorist holding facility at Guantanamo Bay a "gulag." This angered both Cheney and Rumsfeld who met with Amnesty International personally to express their disagreement.
There were no survivors.
Though both Guantanamo and gulag start with a 'g', there are in fact numerous differences between the Soviet prison camps and our detention of terrorists. Actually, there are apparently ten differences, so...
THE TOP TEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GITMO AND A GULAG
10. Beatings at Gitmo are done as felt necessary, instead of following strict Soviet beating schedule.
9. Fancy new Korans for all Gitmo detainees, while nearly no free Korans under Stalin.
8. Gulag inmates were exploited to help the Soviet economy, while we can't even get wallets out of Gitmo detainees.
7. Gulag's had a high fatality rate, while Gitmo detainees don't die until we're done with them.
6. Sibera was not a hot spot for Canadian tourists.
5. Gitmo detainees are allowed to pray towards Mecca five times a day, while Gulag inmates were forced to bow down towards Stalin's mustache five times a day.
4. Many people were placed in gulag's simply for their political views, while many were put in Gitmo because they wouldn't stop shooting at us, gosh darnit.
3. Gulag is an abbreviation for Russian for "The Chief Directorate of Corrective Labor Camps" while Guantanamo is simply Spanish for "hell-hole."
2. While neither the inmates of the gulag or the Gitmo detainees bathe, the Gitmo detainees do have the option.
And the number one difference between Gitmo and a gulag...
We're pretty sure all the people at Gitmo deserve it.