Alli Snow (allisnow) wrote,
Alli Snow
allisnow

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Stephen Hawking on the Run

British physicist Stephen Hawking has become a Fugitive from Mercy, having escaped through a wormhole as doctors surrounded his Cambridge home. Physicians were summoned Monday evening when his wife remembered that a few years ago, Hawking had asked to be shoved down a flight of stairs if the battery on his electric wheelchair ever ran out. Of course, he denies it in that goofy robot voice of his...but Teresa Heinz-Kerry will tell you that computers can be hacked.

Hawking has suffered from a degenerative muscular disease for 40 agonizing years, and he's never seen a single episode of Queer Eye. It's time to let him go. He led a long, productive life, but now he deserves to Die with Dignity, whether he likes it or not.
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