This is so the best one.
Tommy Franks, American Weenie
I've been reading Tommy Franks' new book - yes, I know it's jingoist propaganda by a fascist tool of the military industrial complex, but I like to know what the other side is thinking. Besides, I got a good laugh out of the book jacket: "General Franks has been awarded three Defense Distinguished Service Medals, two Distinguished Service Medals, and four Legion of Merit Awards. His other decorations include three Purple Hearts, three Bronze Stars, and Air Medal, an an Army Commendation Medal - all with "V" for Valor."
Ha! More like "W" for "Weenie"! Sure, he got three Purple Hearts, but it took him FORTY YEARS TO GET THEM! What's the matter, Tommy Boy? Bashful? Afraid to get in there and kick the ball around a little? That's alright. TRUE men of valor like John Kerry will take up the slack. It only took Iron Guts Kerry four months to get his three Purple Hearts, plus a Bronze Star, and a Silver Star. Do the math: if Kerry had stuck around for 40 years, he'd have 3600 Purple Hearts, and 120 Bronze and Silver Stars. It would take him a solid month to toss that many medals at the Capitol Building.
Read the whole thing.