tv // lbd // shoulder touch

lolol

"You have probably heard that President Bush wants a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Actually, what he wants is an amendment that would define marriage as something between a man and a woman. He also wants to an amendment that would define Michael Jackson as something between a man and a woman."

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"And stop telling me Sarah Jessica Parker is beautiful! With her big moose head and her four pound body, she looks like a Bullwinkle The Moose Pez Dispenser."

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"Some woman in Ohio cranked out six kids and, according to the news, the mother and the babies are fine. They always say the mother and babies are doing well... I want to know how the father is doing. No one cares about that. If I was married and my wife gave birth to sextuplets, the article would read "the babies and mother are doing well, but the father hung himself in the hospital supply closet.""
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