"And stop telling me Sarah Jessica Parker is beautiful! With her big moose head and her four pound body, she looks like a Bullwinkle The Moose Pez Dispenser."
"Some woman in Ohio cranked out six kids and, according to the news, the mother and the babies are fine. They always say the mother and babies are doing well... I want to know how the father is doing. No one cares about that. If I was married and my wife gave birth to sextuplets, the article would read "the babies and mother are doing well, but the father hung himself in the hospital supply closet.""