Alli Snow (allisnow) wrote,
Alli Snow

How SG-1 Saved Christmas: the final installment!

Haven't read the first four chapters? You can get the whole story off my site here.

Chapter Five

"Not even close!" said the Who-girl, enraged.
"Don't give me that look... you belong in a cage.
You stockpile weapons, you mistreat your dog, Max,
You're responsible for all of these Yuletide attacks."

But the Grinch, slowly standing, seemed honestly shocked,
Staggering in the snow as though he'd been rocked.
"There are misdeeds in my past, yes, I fear.
But ever since then, all I bring is good cheer."

Livid, the Who stamped her foot, shouting, "Liar!
Last year you set the whole village in fire.
You did come back later, and helped put it out,
But that doesn't excuse all your actions, you lout."

(Daniel, still bleeding, could no longer walk.
He sat on a stump, hoped for help from the Doc.)
The Grinch simply stood there in utter disgrace
Regret and confusion so clear on his face.

"I see now," said Jack with a slight knowing nod.
"All of his puzzlement, it's not a facade.
The reason behind the Grinch's immorality
Is perfectly obvious: he's a split personality.

In which case our vengeance just wouldn't be right.
So get a straight-jacket, wrap him up tight.
There's a nice padded cell Daniel's grandpa vacated.
He'll be safe there: the Whos should be elated."

"We surely will," said the girl in relief.
"And glad to be done with this green, fuzzy thief.
The quicker the better, please take him away.
Christmas is near, there should be no delay."

As she dialed, Sam said "Teal'c, you've said not a word.
Do you think this whole mission was simply absurd?"
The Grinch entered the Gate; Teal'c watched Daniel proceed,
Inclined his head, and answered, "Indeed."

The end!

  • I guess it's a good fit, since they're both total jokes.

    Maybe it'll be called "Toxic Little Queen."

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