September 18th, 2007

movie // emperor // smash it



Your home is a

Magic Villa

Your kitchen is manned by a team of Keebler Drow Elves. Your master bedroom is decorated to look like the treetop village of the Galadhrim. Your study has every fantasy novel ever written, including multiple editions of the Silmarillion and advance copies of Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. One of your garages houses your Hummer, and others contain your H2, and H3... with room for an H4, if they ever invent one.

Your home also includes a roost for griffons. You've never actually seen a griffon, but you keep the roost ready anyway. Your guests enjoy your home theater with hi-def plasma screen TV, and the thrones you watch it from. Outside is the moat that protects your home from goblin invaders and extended family.

And, you have a pet -- a unicorn named "Shadowhooves".

Below is a snippet of the blueprints:

Find YOUR Dream Home!


Minimal: You would most likely not get caught, but if you did, it would be due to technological developments arising after the case had gone cold.
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tv // lbd // shoulder touch

Frank J's Guide to Not Getting Tasered (


* When asking questions to a Senator, make sure to do so in the proper manner as instructed to at the event.

* If you decide to instead grab the mic, only ask one question and wait for the Senator to respond.

* If you aren't interested in the Senator's response and feel it more pressing to ask more questions, relent when the police approach you.

* If you decide not to relent when the police approach you at least don't be a huge drama queen.

* If you are a huge drama queen when the police attempt to escort you out, at least don't try and resist arrest and run back in the room.

* If you do resist arrest and run back into the room, do give up when the police tackle you.

* If you keep resisting when tackled to the ground, do finally follow police instructions when they threaten to taser you.

* If you decide to keep resisting arrest even when tackled to the ground and are threatened with a taser, whatever you do, do not refer to one of the officers as "bro" when pleaded to not be tasered, 'cause that's gonna get yer ass tased.

I hope these instructions were helpful. Have a electrocution free day!

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