May 23rd, 2007

usa // no aliens

Snurched from IMAO (

"I think you Mexicans will find this new amnesty plan to be very generous," President Bush told the group of Mexicans assembled at the table in front of him. "You just have to pay your fines and back taxes and then you're all set."

"Why should we pay your taxes, Gringo?" the head Mexican asked. "We're Mexican; we don't pay your taxes. You give us amnesty without back taxes!"

Bush thought about that. "Okay... I guess you don't need to pay taxes. Just pay the fines and everything will be even-Steven."

"The fines are too much. We don't want to pay no fines!"

"Half-fines, then."

"Why should we pay any fines? You guys tricked us over here! We were happy in Mexico."

"Well... I guess fines might be harsh, then."

"You pay us!"


"You pay us to apologize for hassling us for crossing into land which is really ours! You do it or we leave!!"

"No no! Don't leave!" Bush pulled out his wallet. "I have twenty bucks; how's that?"

The head Mexican snatched the twenty dollar bill. "That will do... for now."

"So when do they get to vote?" Nancy Pelosi chimed in. "Can they vote tomorrow?"

"There's not an election tomorrow."

"Why don't we give them all the vote and hold an election tomorrow!" Pelosi exclaimed.

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The Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice, is at the Giants/Astros game with the foreign minister of Australia.

They're both wearing Giants jackets, and the broadcasters, Kruk and Kuip, sent down an autographed ball.

*giggles at the cute*
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