March 3rd, 2004

tv // lbd // shoulder touch

Racist games?

A devoted chess player named Bill Ware believe chess as it is currently played is racist and wants to change the rules to eliminate it, according to the Southern Digest, the student newspaper at Southern University in Baton Rouge, La.

Ware says the fact that white moves first and black is forced to play defense "states that white is better than black" and represents a form of racism.

His solution is Algebra Chess, in which the white and black pieces are replaced by pieces of different colors and the determining factor on who moves first depends on what square the queen sits on.


Dumbass.
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tv // lbd // shoulder touch

The joys of marriage

From my uncle:

1.
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night, whether you're here or not."


2.
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'"

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband. Stiff At Last.'"


3.
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,

" Mother of Six" in spite of her continued objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."
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tv // lbd // shoulder touch

(no subject)

Charmed is a repeat again next week.

I am irked.

Watching Kingdom Hospital, for Jimmy T. To say it's weird doesn't cover it. But I actually sorta like all the talking animals.

ETA: ABC is pimping a Bible movie, since Mel has made them OK. It's called Judas. And I'm sorry, but I just can't take seriously a Jesus who says "we're gonna".

ETAA:

HASH(0x88b8fec)
What Precious Gem are you? (With high-quality pictures!)

brought to you by Quizilla


Who, me?

"Why does not Ross, the largest friend, simply eat the other five?"
"Perhaps they are saving that for sweeps."

"This concept of "wuv" confuses and infuriates us!"
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