From my aunt:
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there?.. I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt"
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix the hole in the freaking boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Mike Piazza, General asshats, Libertarians
Circle I Limbo
Chris Carter, The LA Dodgers
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind
DMV Employees, FatHead, Oakland Raider Fans
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow
Bill Clinton, SDJ Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights
French people, Gray Davis, ACLU Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled
Circle VI Buried for Eternity
Drunk Drivers, NAMBLA Members
Circle VII Burning Sands
Qusay Hussein, Uday Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement
Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice