August 22nd, 2003

tv // lbd // shoulder touch

Need to know

There's a big black doggie sleeping on my bed. Aww...

From my aunt:

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there?.. I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt"

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix the hole in the freaking boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
  • Current Mood
    thirsty thirsty
tv // lbd // shoulder touch


Mike Piazza, General asshats, Libertarians
Circle I Limbo

Chris Carter, The LA Dodgers
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

DMV Employees, FatHead, Oakland Raider Fans
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Bill Clinton, SDJ Members
Circle IV Rolling Weights

French people, Gray Davis, ACLU Members
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Drunk Drivers, NAMBLA Members
Circle VII Burning Sands

Qusay Hussein, Uday Hussein
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

  • Current Music
    Lifehouse -- Somewhere In Between