Because I don't have my laptop.
(Which, because a facebook friend asked me what its name was, is now called Aya. Because reasons. And I miss my Aya almost as much as Razer misses his. Although at least mine isn't trying to destroy the universe. As far as I know.)
I mean, yeah, I emailed myself a backup of the file because I'm paranoid like that (they're just repairing the DC jack, but still...) and I have my backup Dell laptop (which, being bulky, noisy, and kind of whiny, might deserve to be christened Kilowog)... but it's just not the same.