Alli Snow (allisnow) wrote,
Alli Snow

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For some strange reason, I'm watching Obama's (half-hour late) presser. Here's the translation:

"Everybody wants health care reform! We've managed to squeeze lots of money out of the pharm companies and hospitals. I mean, everyone knows that they don't need to make a profit. Also, nurses and doctors associations want reform! Woohoo! We all agree that health is good and paperwork is bad. If my wondrous plan passes, your life will be better.

"Oh, but we sort of have to pay for it, right? I mean I already have created such a huge debt, I guess it would be a bad idea to add even more to it. Congress is working really really hard to figure this out, so you can just stop thinking about it.

"By the way, under this plan, the government is going to decide what the "best" care is. We're going to put together a board of "medical experts" who will decide if what your doctor wants to do to cure you is "wasteful" or not.

"[Stupid race-running analogy.]

"If we don't do this, our children are going to be in-- um, even MORE in debt! We can't control government spending anyway! If we don't do this, no one will have insurance they can afford! And if you are against my plan YOU KICK PUPPIES AND STEAL FROM CHILDREN!

"I'm going to work my staff to the bone until they figure this mother out.

No questions."
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