Running through the building, calling her name, idly wondering when exactly ‘Agent Walker’ became ‘Renee’, because even though he’s not active old habits die hard—
Running through the building, calling her name, Jack makes a pact with the universe. If she’s alive, he’ll keep fighting. Consider it a sign that he’s meant to be here, doing whatever he can with whatever he’s got left. If she’s alive, he won’t give up.
He assumes the universe doesn’t want him to give up.
Most of the time, though, it’s hard to know what the universe really wants. He has to believe it wants something because he has to have some kind of meaning, something pinning ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ into their proper corners. For all he’s done – to his family, to people he cares about and people he hates, and to himself, although he shouldn’t have listed himself last because it’s not about him, never has been, he’s just—
For all he’s done, he still knows that right and wrong exist. He’s painfully aware of their existence, in fact. If he hadn’t, he would have crossed a line long ago.
Sometimes he wonders if he hasn’t crossed it after all.
Jack makes a pact with the universe, because he assumes that the universe wants him to keep fighting, rather than retreat into some little room back at the Bureau, retreat into himself and let the toxin erase whatever self he has left—
He assumes that the universe wants him to keep fighting.
But he’s so afraid that he’s wrong.